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  • Dr. Liz Homan

What We Speak!

Do you know how powerful your words are? I have found it true that I speak my life into existence, and I want to talk to you all about that a bit today.

A while back, honestly, right when this pandemic was starting, I read the following: “We speak our life into existence” and didn’t really know what to think about it at the time. Well, over the past year, I have seen how this is so true. The things that we speak to ourselves and to our children become our reality. And because of this, I have become very particular over my words, both those that I think to myself, and the ones I speak to my children.

I want to talk mainly about how we talk to our children and I will tie something in at the end about how we talk to ourselves.

As our children are growing and learning new things, we are constantly working on building them up so that they can grow up to be smart, confident, kind human beings. But, if you are constantly talking to your child from a negative stance, they may not grow into what we desire for them. An example of this would be: “You are not listening to me right now!” Instead of this, something that would instill in them that they actually are a good listener is telling them “Name, remember you are a good listener and how about we use our listening ears right now and do what mommy is asking of you please!” By changing how we speak to them we change who they will become by changing who they think they are!

Another key thing that I am big on watching is never telling a child that they are okay. I will ask them if they are okay, if they need something or what is going on, but I really strive to never walk up to a child, especially one that is crying because they are mad/hurt/lonely and just tell them “you are okay”. The reason for that is because I am not sure if they are okay. And I also think about how I would feel if I was hurt or sad and my husband just walked up to me and told me “you’re okay, stop crying” Honestly, I know I would not like it and I would also feel that I am not being heard… So, work on changing your “You are fine” to “Are you okay? Is there anything I can do for you?”.

I also watch how I speak about the kids when I am in front of them. So thankfully we have been blessed with two very good eaters and sleepers, but if they are having a “rough” time with either their eating or sleeping, I do not talk about it to others in their presence. I also affirm in them that they are good sleepers and that the food that is on their plate is yummy and nourishes their body and they need to eat it all.

And one last key thing that I like to do with the kids is to speak positive affirmations to them! Some of these include:

· I am confident

· I am brave

· I am smart

· I am kind

· I love myself

· I am great at sharing

Now let’s talk briefly about how we talk to ourselves… I know a lot of times we may not be as kind to ourselves as what we should be. So, the one thing I like to think about is, “would I say this to one of the girls?” If I would not say it to them, then there is no way I should be telling myself those same words. An example of this: “I cannot get anything right today, I am such a failure”. Well, would you say that to one of your kids? I guarantee not! So, if you would not speak it to them, then do not speak it to yourself! A better phrase to tell yourself when something is not going quite right would be “well, that didn’t go the way I thought it would, but it will work next time!”

I hope you understand how powerful your words are and how they are shaping not just who you are, but they are also molding your children’s future and it is important to watch what you are saying and to speak only what you genuinely want them to believe about themselves!

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